#7 Racism

Seoul, Korea — A group of scientists hailing from the Netherlands and Australia have made a shocking discovery:  racism is alive and well in Korea.  The scientists came to the conclusion after months of tireless research and endless interviews with both locals and foreigners.  One foreigner was quoted as saying “I can’t believe these chinks have such a bad attitude towards honkeys, spics, and niggers!”  Additionally, researchers have come to other incredible discoveries including:  water is wet, the sun is hot(sometimes) and everybody loves Raymond. 

Foreigners have a bad habit of complaining about things with an accusatory tone which makes it seem as though the problems are strictly found in Korea only and NEVER found in their respective countries.  Racism is no exception.  It doesn’t help that most Caucasian foreigners fancy themselves as neo-liberal hippie wannabes that really believe that everyone loves everyone and racism is (surprise surprise) bad! 

In a country that is 99% homogeneous did you really expect Korea to be racism-free©?  Foreigners here act genuinely surprised when Koreans consider the average foreigner here nothing more than an English teacher or Army loser.  I’m not saying that racism is good because we all know racism is bad…very bad, but even in the most liberal of countries, racism still exists, unless you live in Australia or the Netherlands because those two countries don’t have “that problem.”

While a lot of non-asian foreigners love to complain about excessive Korean racism, they do not seem to have a problem with getting paid 40 dollars an hour for simply not looking Asian(English teachers).  In addition, foreign males seem to have no problems with Korean women that are willing to love them long time because they look foreign. 

Note:  Adoptees and Kyopos reserve the right to complain about racism because Koreans don’t view them as being “real” foreigners and thus refuse to hire them on the basis of “not being white” or “not being foreign” enough.  They also do not gain the automatic foreign status until they’ve opened their mouths, but even that doesn’t guarantee equal “foreigner” status. 

Additional note:   Koreans with Caucasian partners are automatically given JWS(Junior White Status) because most Koreans share the same misguided belief held by many foreigners:  language skills are easily transferrable via bodily fluids.  JWS automatically grants a person access to better paying jobs, higher positions and drinking fountains found at the front of stores.